If I could be...

If I could be a poet...I would have written poetry right now.
If I could be a song writer...I would have sing a song of my own.
But I'm nothing like an artist.

Whenever I'm sad, I sing songs...not of my own.
Whenever I'm glad, I sing, any song I could remember.
but they don't represent my words, my feeling, my sorrow and my hope.

If I could write a book, I would have written the story of my regrets.
All the joy and moments that I missed.
How I would trade it with anything, everything... for a brief of time to live it back again.

But I'm not a novelist.
all I can do is write some cheesy lines that no body seems to care.
Maybe it should never have been mentioned.

No, this is not about winning.
or being arrogant and refusing to give up.

This is me...surrendering.
trying to pave back my way to redemption.
Trying, with every strength I got.
Because I don't want to live with regrets of not trying it harder.

But I guess it doesn't matter.
I just wrote it down, in case someday someone might see, and would look at it for a while.